As my fam is getting ready for our annual LighttheNight festivities this weekend, I was thinking back through the year about times when I have been so proud of A&W for being that Light...for bringing Jesus into their everyday lives and interactions with people...
One of W's was very recent. At my regular parent-teacher conference, his teacher tells me that she recently witnessed a whole little theological discussion between my W and two of his classmates that he sits between. One of his classmates is a little girl from Russia and one is a little boy from a family with Muslim background. I kind of knew something was up because W had told me one day that the little girl sitting next to him didn't believe God made us. Anyway, his teacher reported to me that she was waiting for them to ask her a question because she cannot initiate any sort of religious conversation but if they ask her, then she can talk about it with them. However, they never asked her a question. The three of them just talked about God and about Jesus and about their beliefs...and W knew what he believed and explained it to them very well. Way to go, son!
NOTE: THE FOLLOWING WAS WRITTEN WITH A's PERMISSION! SHE WANTED TO SHARE HER "STORY" IN HOPES IT WOULD HELP OTHERS BRING THINGS TO THE LIGHT.
When I thought about A and the notion of "light" - a different aspect of "light" came to mind. One where she learned a tough lesson and I almost had a nervous breakdown. A went to church camp for the first time this summer - it was a Friday through Sunday camp - with other kids from church and our children's minister, Ms. Lesa. She had such an amazing time and came home very excited and on fire for Jesus...but as the days and weeks went by, I started noticing she was not sleeping well, she had dark circles under her eyes, she was really snippy and overly emotional and getting into way more trouble than usual. I knew something was brewing beneath the surface. I started worrying about her health - wondering if a dr.'s appointment was in order.
Well, one day, I ask her about what's going on with her...her eyes get as big as saucers and she freaks out. I try to talk to her, to tell her that it's ok, that there is nothing she can't tell me and that I want to help her. She vehemently shakes her head and seals her lips. I ask questions - are you feeling ok? Does your head hurt? Did someone hurt your feelings? She starts to cry. She pulls me close and tells me she can't say it in front of anyone else.
At this point, my mom-o-meter is going wild and I'm quite concerned. We go into my room, close the door, and get in my bed and snuggle up. She's visibly upset and struggling, I can see her chest about to explode...she's almost hyperventilating. I'm praying to myself because I was more than just a little freaked out. I could SEE and SENSE a battle going on inside of her. At this point, God gives me enough discernment to realize that it's spiritual, not physical. She cannot bring herself to talk at all, so I start asking questions again.
"A, did something happen to you?" She shakes her head no.
"A, did someone hurt you?" She shakes her head no again. I'm confused.
"Well, A, what's going on, sweet girl? There's not anything you can't tell me. Nothing is going to change how I love you, you know that, right?" She looks at me sideways because she can't bring herself to make full eye contact, with tears in her eyes.
"Mom, I did something bad." Okay..... So guilt is the culprit. Whew. Got it.
"A, did you hurt someone?" She shakes her head yes.
"When did this happen?" She tells me "at church camp..."
At that point, I was slightly relieved. I mean, how bad could it be at church camp? I hadn't heard any reports about it from our children's minister. Then I remembered church camp when I was growing up...dang. It might be bad.
She continues to visibly struggle with talking to me...but I finally get out of her that she took a picture of something she shouldn't have. We had sent her a disposable camera to capture some memories of church camp...but hadn't gotten around to downloading them yet. Now I was slightly worried. Did she take a picture of someone taking a shower or something? My imagination starts running wild.
Finally, it spills out of her...and when it did, it was just like she was throwing up. It just came spewing out and it hurt...but afterwards, she started feeling much better.
She took a picture of Ms. Lesa's fully-clothed behind when she bent over to pick something up.... Ms. Lesa never knew it....And it's been eating her up ever since.
While I had to REALLY struggle to keep it together and not laugh, I grabbed at the chance to make it a teachable moment...so we talked about how sin can just eat us up inside when we try to hide it, we are keeping it in the dark and it grows bigger and uglier and starts to rot, but when we confess it and bring it out into the light, God can begin to heal it and he can put people in our life who can love us through it and it doesn't look as scary in the light. And God will use what we've been through to mold us and shape us and bring us closer to him - to give us a story of healing to help others when they are hurting. And we talked about maybe needing to confess to Ms. Lesa and ask forgiveness, too.
And after her big confession, I went into the next room with Dear Hubby (after getting A's permission to share her story with her daddy) and laughed so hard that I cried as I tried to explain it to him...
As I reflect back on A's experience with "light" this past year, though, I'm reminded not only of God's sense of humor but also of God's goodness - that He gave me an opportunity to share in this with my daughter...because since that time, A has brought it up several times and tells me again and again how God's light can wash away our sins and makes us feel brand new...and how hiding secrets in the dark can hurt us...and she always ends it with "And I know, Momma, because, I've felt it...remember? You know....don't make me say it."
And A has given me permission to share her "story" so that others can see how a little "light" can go a long ways...
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Parenting
As my daughter, A, gets older, I find myself asking myself some tough questions...like "SELF - are you doing your very best to create a relationship with your daughter where she feels the freedom to grow into who God made her to be?" or "SELF: are you creating an environment where she feels like she has to measure up to some impossible standard that her mother has created?"
See, I have this "thing"...I set extremely high standards for myself - generally too high. If I can't do something perfect, I'd just rather not even try. When I was in college, going through my phase of figuring out everything wrong about my childhood and how my parents had screwed me up, I wanted to attribute that to my mother...I wanted to somehow blame her for making me feel like I had to be perfect. It wasn't until I had a daughter myself that I had to re-think my thought process.
See, I do believe that parents make mistakes...and that all parents will screw up their kids in one way or another, no matter how hard we may try to do things perfectly (we just need to try to mitigate the damages as much as possible, folks!)...but as I attempt to parent a daughter in a time when it's just flat-out scary to be raising an almost "tween", I can see what a very thin line it is between teaching your daughter about responsibility and about creating this atmosphere of perfectionism. I'd say my mom & dad did a pretty good job on the responsibility side of that...but I struggle with perfectionism.
As of late, I've been hyping myself up to start opening up doors of communication with her NOW (at age 8) about boys and relationships and yes, sex. I've been looking for opportunities to set the stage for later. Been doing my research, reading some great books on the subject..but one general theme has been that you teach your kids responsibility and respect from a VERY young age so that when they enter their tween and teen years, their attitude about their bodies and about sex INCLUDES this idea of responsibility and respect.
As I read this, I thought "YES!!!! We are doing something right!" I have been obsessed with teaching my kids about responsibility since they were old enough to walk...picking up after themselves, clearing their place at the table, loading their own dishes into the dishwasher, helping with supper, putting things in their proper places, having their assigned chores, doing homework before they go out to play. Oh, believe me, we fail on a daily basis in some form or fashion, but we talk about it and we try. The one place I have yet to get it thru their heads that "I'm not a maid, I'm a mom" is in their bathroom, but I digress....
Are we doing something right or are we contributing to issues with perfectionism?
On a typical day, I find myself getting on to A alot more than I would like - to come pick up her shoes she left right smack in the middle of the kitchen floor, to pick up her homework folder and put it in her backpack, to come either finish or clean up some random art project she started and then left out on the table, to bring me back my hairbrush that she borrowed, to put things away rather than just shoving them all under her bed...I have written before how A has this little GT kid personality that is SO outside of the box, and I know it. I know it's part of who she is - that when she is done thinking about something, she moves on...it's almost like she's scatterbrained, but she's not. Hard to explain.
My struggle is where is the line between teaching her responsibility and creating an environment where she thinks she has to be perfect? At what point am I putting up walls between us that's going to come back to bite me later? Am I making her feel like she's less than perfect? I'm sure I am...but is that a good thing or a bad thing? (I mean, "nobody's perfect" is good to know, right? Hannah Montana says so.) I want her to know that I'm the person who will ALWAYS be there for her, that will always be in her corner. I want her to feel comfortable talking to me when she makes mistakes, and yet, at the same time, I'm the person who is having to POINT OUT her mistakes right now, which does not go very far in making her want to TELL me when she messes up. Get my point?
And to top it all off, W is generally a very responsible 6 year old. He's the kid who always puts his shoes right by the front door so he can find them when he needs them. I don't have to get on to him as much as I do A because he just naturally likes order. He puts his homework folder back in his backpack as soon as he is done. I'm not saying he's perfect - he's not. But in any given day, I'd say I have to address these kinds of issues with A at least five times more than I do with W. Wouldn't it be unfair to expect W to do some things and NOT expect the same from A? And how does the whole idea of A being a girl and the self-esteem issues girls deal with play into all of this?
I am so not ready for a 'tween.
See, I have this "thing"...I set extremely high standards for myself - generally too high. If I can't do something perfect, I'd just rather not even try. When I was in college, going through my phase of figuring out everything wrong about my childhood and how my parents had screwed me up, I wanted to attribute that to my mother...I wanted to somehow blame her for making me feel like I had to be perfect. It wasn't until I had a daughter myself that I had to re-think my thought process.
See, I do believe that parents make mistakes...and that all parents will screw up their kids in one way or another, no matter how hard we may try to do things perfectly (we just need to try to mitigate the damages as much as possible, folks!)...but as I attempt to parent a daughter in a time when it's just flat-out scary to be raising an almost "tween", I can see what a very thin line it is between teaching your daughter about responsibility and about creating this atmosphere of perfectionism. I'd say my mom & dad did a pretty good job on the responsibility side of that...but I struggle with perfectionism.
As of late, I've been hyping myself up to start opening up doors of communication with her NOW (at age 8) about boys and relationships and yes, sex. I've been looking for opportunities to set the stage for later. Been doing my research, reading some great books on the subject..but one general theme has been that you teach your kids responsibility and respect from a VERY young age so that when they enter their tween and teen years, their attitude about their bodies and about sex INCLUDES this idea of responsibility and respect.
As I read this, I thought "YES!!!! We are doing something right!" I have been obsessed with teaching my kids about responsibility since they were old enough to walk...picking up after themselves, clearing their place at the table, loading their own dishes into the dishwasher, helping with supper, putting things in their proper places, having their assigned chores, doing homework before they go out to play. Oh, believe me, we fail on a daily basis in some form or fashion, but we talk about it and we try. The one place I have yet to get it thru their heads that "I'm not a maid, I'm a mom" is in their bathroom, but I digress....
Are we doing something right or are we contributing to issues with perfectionism?
On a typical day, I find myself getting on to A alot more than I would like - to come pick up her shoes she left right smack in the middle of the kitchen floor, to pick up her homework folder and put it in her backpack, to come either finish or clean up some random art project she started and then left out on the table, to bring me back my hairbrush that she borrowed, to put things away rather than just shoving them all under her bed...I have written before how A has this little GT kid personality that is SO outside of the box, and I know it. I know it's part of who she is - that when she is done thinking about something, she moves on...it's almost like she's scatterbrained, but she's not. Hard to explain.
My struggle is where is the line between teaching her responsibility and creating an environment where she thinks she has to be perfect? At what point am I putting up walls between us that's going to come back to bite me later? Am I making her feel like she's less than perfect? I'm sure I am...but is that a good thing or a bad thing? (I mean, "nobody's perfect" is good to know, right? Hannah Montana says so.) I want her to know that I'm the person who will ALWAYS be there for her, that will always be in her corner. I want her to feel comfortable talking to me when she makes mistakes, and yet, at the same time, I'm the person who is having to POINT OUT her mistakes right now, which does not go very far in making her want to TELL me when she messes up. Get my point?
And to top it all off, W is generally a very responsible 6 year old. He's the kid who always puts his shoes right by the front door so he can find them when he needs them. I don't have to get on to him as much as I do A because he just naturally likes order. He puts his homework folder back in his backpack as soon as he is done. I'm not saying he's perfect - he's not. But in any given day, I'd say I have to address these kinds of issues with A at least five times more than I do with W. Wouldn't it be unfair to expect W to do some things and NOT expect the same from A? And how does the whole idea of A being a girl and the self-esteem issues girls deal with play into all of this?
I am so not ready for a 'tween.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Bah-Humbug
Here it is not even Halloween yet and I'm stressing about Christmas. I made the mistake of writing down all of the presents I have to buy (with good intentions of getting a head start on my Christmas shopping and looking for bargains!) and, while I was at it, I decided to see how much money this was going to set me back so I'd have an idea of how much I'd need to save each month towards this goal.
Big mistake, HUGE. (can anyone name that movie? Come on, CB..we only watched it like a thousand times in college)
Now I'm officially stressing.
Here's the deal - there are some gifts I LOVE to give. I mean, I spend alot of time thinking it through and picking just the right ones and then I just get giddy over watching them open them. Then there are those gifts I just feel obligated to buy because "it's what we've always done" and it's tradition and if I didn't buy those gifts, then the message I'm sending is I don't care about that particular person. Not true, but that's what is perceived. So, year in and year out, I give out of guilt.
Yesterday, I was helping my elementary Sunday school class with their memory verse from last week so they could pick a prize from the prize bucket. The memory verse was 2 Corinthians 9:7
"Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." (NIV)
As my little 1st and 2nd graders are trying to pronounce "reluctantly" - it came out more sounding like re-luck-ant-bee - I stopped and asked if anyone knew what "not reluctantly or under compulsion" meant...no takers. So I tried putting it in the language a 6 or 7 year old would get...so here's what came out of my mouth:
"Reluctantly is like you are saying "awww...I guess I'll give if I have to..I don't really want to, but I guess I'll do it anyways." (complete with whiny voice and slouching shoulders)
"Compulsion is like someone holds a gun at you and tells you that you have to give - so you do it but you do it because someone else makes you, not because you want to."
My Sunday school kids nodded their heads and gave a cheer for giving with a cheerful heart...and then we moved on to this week's lesson...
But I have been thinking non-stop about what I was supposed to be teaching them since yesterday. And then I did the whole Christmas list thing...and now I find myself again face to face with one of the demons I fight in my life constantly - GUILT. Guilt has been the topic God has been throwing at me for the last 6 months or so....and here it raises its ugly head yet again. Am I giving gifts out of guilt? Am I doing it reluctantly or under compulsion by some perceived notion in my head or from society? The thing is, I dearly love all of the people on my Christmas list (if you happen to be on it and reading this, that's the truth!!!) but I have been giving gifts out of guilt. I want to be free from guilt. Believe me, it affects me in every area of my life, not just Christmas lists.
I don't want Christmas to be that time of year when I turn into "Scrooge" because I resent the cost or the time it takes to give.
I want to give with great gusto and with a cheer rising out of my heart.
I want to be free from Christmas guilt and all guilt forever.
And I want my kids to really get what Christmas is about.
So - anyone with ideas, the floor is now open. Do I ask God for an attitude adjustment and to show me how to give with a cheerful heart? Do I make some major changes to my holiday shopping list? I need to find the right balance for me and my family while still navigating the treacherous waters of extended family traditions - the last thing I want to do is hurt someone's feelings.
Big mistake, HUGE. (can anyone name that movie? Come on, CB..we only watched it like a thousand times in college)
Now I'm officially stressing.
Here's the deal - there are some gifts I LOVE to give. I mean, I spend alot of time thinking it through and picking just the right ones and then I just get giddy over watching them open them. Then there are those gifts I just feel obligated to buy because "it's what we've always done" and it's tradition and if I didn't buy those gifts, then the message I'm sending is I don't care about that particular person. Not true, but that's what is perceived. So, year in and year out, I give out of guilt.
Yesterday, I was helping my elementary Sunday school class with their memory verse from last week so they could pick a prize from the prize bucket. The memory verse was 2 Corinthians 9:7
"Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." (NIV)
As my little 1st and 2nd graders are trying to pronounce "reluctantly" - it came out more sounding like re-luck-ant-bee - I stopped and asked if anyone knew what "not reluctantly or under compulsion" meant...no takers. So I tried putting it in the language a 6 or 7 year old would get...so here's what came out of my mouth:
"Reluctantly is like you are saying "awww...I guess I'll give if I have to..I don't really want to, but I guess I'll do it anyways." (complete with whiny voice and slouching shoulders)
"Compulsion is like someone holds a gun at you and tells you that you have to give - so you do it but you do it because someone else makes you, not because you want to."
My Sunday school kids nodded their heads and gave a cheer for giving with a cheerful heart...and then we moved on to this week's lesson...
But I have been thinking non-stop about what I was supposed to be teaching them since yesterday. And then I did the whole Christmas list thing...and now I find myself again face to face with one of the demons I fight in my life constantly - GUILT. Guilt has been the topic God has been throwing at me for the last 6 months or so....and here it raises its ugly head yet again. Am I giving gifts out of guilt? Am I doing it reluctantly or under compulsion by some perceived notion in my head or from society? The thing is, I dearly love all of the people on my Christmas list (if you happen to be on it and reading this, that's the truth!!!) but I have been giving gifts out of guilt. I want to be free from guilt. Believe me, it affects me in every area of my life, not just Christmas lists.
I don't want Christmas to be that time of year when I turn into "Scrooge" because I resent the cost or the time it takes to give.
I want to give with great gusto and with a cheer rising out of my heart.
I want to be free from Christmas guilt and all guilt forever.
And I want my kids to really get what Christmas is about.
So - anyone with ideas, the floor is now open. Do I ask God for an attitude adjustment and to show me how to give with a cheerful heart? Do I make some major changes to my holiday shopping list? I need to find the right balance for me and my family while still navigating the treacherous waters of extended family traditions - the last thing I want to do is hurt someone's feelings.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Most Likely to Save the World
What a busy weekend...my dear sweet A turned 8 years old yesterday. Wait. Is that right? Let's see, she was born in 2001....so, yep, that's it. She's 8 YEARS OLD!!! Yikes...
So, just for A, a little letter from her momma (yes, I'm still momma, but I'm expecting it to become "mom" or "mother" any day now. )
A -
Life with you is ALWAYS an adventure. You have definitely kept me on my toes these past 8 years and I'm sure you will keep things interesting for many many years to come. From the minute you were born, you wanted everyone to know you were here and that you love life. You, my sweet girl, are not a wallflower, like your momma. You are an extrovert, just like your daddy. You like attention, just like your daddy. You have so much life and so much love for all things God created inside of you. I've written before about how you just have this "thing" about you that for the longest time I couldn't quite describe until God_showed_me_what_it_was. You dance through every single part of your life with a song in your heart. You have such a ZEAL for life. You often make me wonder where my zeal went! :)
You are com-passionate and passionate about things you believe in, like saving the Earth or saving the animals. You are such a creative thinker - I don't think you will ever be able to think "inside the box" - all you know is outside of it. Boxes, schmoxes...you don't need no stinkin' boxes. :) Every so often, you and I butt heads over this one, because I like the boxes and I like the rules....in my world, you must follow the rules, color inside the lines, follow instructions. In your world, rules and lines are optional and instructions are mere guidelines.
Your mind is always working. It tires me out, girl. I am constantly answering questions or sending you to the computer to look up the answer to your questions. And if it's not a scientific question, then it's something like "Mom, what was your favorite vegetable when you were a kid?" or "Mom, if you had all the money in the world, what would you do with it?" or "Mom, which is your favorite finger on your right hand?" You think I'm kidding. You have asked me all 3 of these questions within the past 24 hours. And, because your mind is always working, you have this tendency to just drop things right where they are because your mind has moved on to something else...we battle over this one - I'm constantly telling you "OHIO - only handle it once!" but that's really a hard thing for you because by the time you pick up your shoes and head to your closet to put them away, you get distracted by something else, so your shoes end up in the middle of the hall floor or in the bathroom or who knows where. 
Your interests right now revolve around science (which explains why an 8 year old girl owns a microscope and a telescope, 2 bearded dragons who like to go on adventures, 3 fire bellied toads, and actually enjoys the non-fiction book section of the library), music (SuperChick, Barlow Girls, Misty Edwards, some Radio Disney stuff, Decypher Down, just to name a few -plus playing the piano), dancing, and art. You love to read, to write songs or poems, and to play with any toys that let you use your imagination.
You make friends easily. I mean, if you see them and they will talk back to you, then they are your friend. You just love people. You love being around them and you love on them with a love that comes from someone other than you - it comes from Jesus in your heart. A very precious, very kind heart.
I know, A, that sometimes I'm hard on you...sometimes I push you a little harder or expect a little more from you than I do your brother. I'm learning, too. But, in my defense, it's because I think you are amazing. You have this t-shirt that was actually passed down to you from your cousin, Claire...but it says "Most Likely to Save the World" - that's how I see you, A. That's what I see in you. God has made you just like you are and He is going to use you and all of your zeal and passion. Just wait and see.
Happy birthday, A. I love you like crazy.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Purpose
"What is your purpose?"
For the record, I always dread that question, and it tends to come up every year or so in church or in small groups...."What is your purpose?"
My purpose is simple, right? We (being the human race) were created to worship and be in a relationship with God, right? Right. Simple enough.
But, alas, that generally does not get me out of it. It is inevitable followed up with "Ok - but what is YOUR specific purpose in God's kingdom?" Why did God make ME? He made me with specific gifts and with certain passions for a reason. I've experienced things in life that have also helped to mold me into who I am and can be used towards my "purpose"...so what the heck is that purpose? Does anyone ever REALLY know this answer? I mean, really? How do you take all of this stuff, mash it all together, and BAM - there's your purpose?
I've taken all of the tests, read a few books along the way...still don't know the answer.
Is my purpose to be "mom" to A&W and to teach them what they need to know about this world, about life, and about our heavenly father so that they can grow up and fulfill their "purpose", whatever that may be?
Is my purpose to be wife to my Dear Hubby, to grow with him, to stand behind him in support of his ministry?
Is my purpose somehow tied up in this crazy career I have as attorney at law? Or am I off-track and need to again seek God's will in where I am supposed to be?
Is my purpose to be a good friend, a good daughter, a good sister or aunt?
Here I am 34 years old - been at my current job for 9 1/2 years - mother of 2, married 11 years. - and I still can't say with any degree of certainty what my God-created purpose is. I think all of this is a part of it, but God still hasn't given me that big billboard that I requested that tells me exactly what I need to do or what my purpose is - these little pieces of the puzzle are great but I can't see the big picture, so I just keep plugging along, waiting for my "AHA!" moment.
So, Phil, when you ask in church if we know what our purpose is, I cringe. Maybe I'm too much of a detail person. Maybe I need to know specifics, God. Have you gone into the billboard business yet? If not, maybe a nice email would do.
Monday, August 10, 2009
That Jesus Guy is Pretty Awesome...
Sundays are always a hoot around our house...but on this Sunday afternoon, after an awesome morning in worship and fellowship, I had to finish painting...I had started painting my bathroom on Saturday and not finished...so here I was, delicately balanced over my bathtub, trying to reach some pretty unreachable places when in walks A....
That morning in Sunday School, A&W had talked about the creation story in Genesis. So this particular afternoon, it was still on her mind and so she was doing some follow-up research. That led her to the story of Noah and the ark.
"Mom! Did you know the Bible says God told Noah to take 7 of each CLEAN animal and 2 of each unclean animal? Not just 2 of everything..."
"That's right. The extra clean animals were so that Noah and his family could make the required sacrifices. Did you know that, in the Old Testament, before Jesus died for our sins on the cross, that people would have to sacrifice animals in order to ask for forgiveness of those sins?"
Eyes wide, A says "You mean kill them?"
"Yes. Aren't we even more grateful that Jesus died for our sins? Isn't that cool?"
"So we would have to kill Rosie?"
"Well, not dogs. Usually sheep or goats"
And then, there it is. "So Jesus saved all the animals!!!! Jesus loves the animals, too!" So, there you have it - Jesus was not only the savior of the world and the son of God, but he was the very first animal lover as well...A's pretty darn sure he never wore a coat_with_a_fake_fur_collar, either.
Yes, my darling hippie child. Jesus loved the animals...and, by the way, he loves us too.
That morning in Sunday School, A&W had talked about the creation story in Genesis. So this particular afternoon, it was still on her mind and so she was doing some follow-up research. That led her to the story of Noah and the ark.
"Mom! Did you know the Bible says God told Noah to take 7 of each CLEAN animal and 2 of each unclean animal? Not just 2 of everything..."
"That's right. The extra clean animals were so that Noah and his family could make the required sacrifices. Did you know that, in the Old Testament, before Jesus died for our sins on the cross, that people would have to sacrifice animals in order to ask for forgiveness of those sins?"
Eyes wide, A says "You mean kill them?"
"Yes. Aren't we even more grateful that Jesus died for our sins? Isn't that cool?"
"So we would have to kill Rosie?"
"Well, not dogs. Usually sheep or goats"
And then, there it is. "So Jesus saved all the animals!!!! Jesus loves the animals, too!" So, there you have it - Jesus was not only the savior of the world and the son of God, but he was the very first animal lover as well...A's pretty darn sure he never wore a coat_with_a_fake_fur_collar, either.
Yes, my darling hippie child. Jesus loved the animals...and, by the way, he loves us too.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Brains vc. Brawn
Lately I've been struggling with the fact that my kids are growing up as "city kids" - complete with the attitudes of city kids. Now don't get me wrong, my kids are fantastic. They are really good, for the most part, but every now and then, I find myself wondering if I'm raising a couple of wienies who can't stand getting dirty or being uncomfortable for more than 5 minutes.
My childhood was so different from theirs. I grew up on a cotton farm. For as long as I can remember, I spent my summers in the field. Before I started school, I played in the dirt on the turnrows while my 2 older brothers and parents hoed. Once I started school, then I was old enough to hoe my own rows, so I walked the cotton field with a hoe in my hand, chopping up weeds. During harvesting, I "tromped" cotton with my brothers - this was in the days before module builders so you had to physically mash all of the cotton you could into the trailers. You did this by jumping up and down on it - or "tromping" it.
I just remember it as a part of life - I didn't get paid for the work I did, it was expected as part of the family. I didn't have the opportunity to say "no" to going to the field. It never would have occurred to me, honestly. Some of my best memories are in the cotton field - chasing rabbits, catching lizards, singing silly songs. Yeah, it was hot and there were bugs and it was uncomfortable, but I never died. I survived it. And today I feel like I'm a stronger person for having grown up on a farm.
So when I think about my kids' life, I want them to have some of that. I want them to have a good work ethic. I want them to be strong in character. This week, they are at Grandma and Poppa's on the farm. I told my mom to take them to the field with them, to make them work and, heaven forbid, get a little uncomfortable. Of course, Grandma can't do that to those kids! Oh yes she can.
So as I'm talking to A about it - she tells me she doesn't want to go to the field. I tell her it's an opportunity to do something she's never done before, a chance to help Poppa with his crops, I tell her about all of the animals she might see. Still, Resistance. Whining. Squirming. Complaining. And she hasn't even stepped foot in the field yet. I tell her that going to the field will make her a stronger person.
She looks right at me and says "I don't want to be strong, I want to be smart." DOH!
I tell her she can be both! That she comes from a long line of strong women and she'd better just get used to being strong. Again, she tells me she'll be smart instead.
Finally, I pull out the big guns - I tell her that if I hear that she refused to go to the field, that she whined and complained, that she didn't work when asked to, then there would be no TV for the rest of the summer.
Resistance is Futile. Mom wins again.
My childhood was so different from theirs. I grew up on a cotton farm. For as long as I can remember, I spent my summers in the field. Before I started school, I played in the dirt on the turnrows while my 2 older brothers and parents hoed. Once I started school, then I was old enough to hoe my own rows, so I walked the cotton field with a hoe in my hand, chopping up weeds. During harvesting, I "tromped" cotton with my brothers - this was in the days before module builders so you had to physically mash all of the cotton you could into the trailers. You did this by jumping up and down on it - or "tromping" it.
I just remember it as a part of life - I didn't get paid for the work I did, it was expected as part of the family. I didn't have the opportunity to say "no" to going to the field. It never would have occurred to me, honestly. Some of my best memories are in the cotton field - chasing rabbits, catching lizards, singing silly songs. Yeah, it was hot and there were bugs and it was uncomfortable, but I never died. I survived it. And today I feel like I'm a stronger person for having grown up on a farm.
So when I think about my kids' life, I want them to have some of that. I want them to have a good work ethic. I want them to be strong in character. This week, they are at Grandma and Poppa's on the farm. I told my mom to take them to the field with them, to make them work and, heaven forbid, get a little uncomfortable. Of course, Grandma can't do that to those kids! Oh yes she can.
So as I'm talking to A about it - she tells me she doesn't want to go to the field. I tell her it's an opportunity to do something she's never done before, a chance to help Poppa with his crops, I tell her about all of the animals she might see. Still, Resistance. Whining. Squirming. Complaining. And she hasn't even stepped foot in the field yet. I tell her that going to the field will make her a stronger person.
She looks right at me and says "I don't want to be strong, I want to be smart." DOH!
I tell her she can be both! That she comes from a long line of strong women and she'd better just get used to being strong. Again, she tells me she'll be smart instead.
Finally, I pull out the big guns - I tell her that if I hear that she refused to go to the field, that she whined and complained, that she didn't work when asked to, then there would be no TV for the rest of the summer.
Resistance is Futile. Mom wins again.
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