So - Lubbock has received around 7 1/2 inches of rain since midnight and they expect possibly 2 to 3 more inches over night....What? SCHOOLS HAVE BEEN CANCELLED for tomorrow due to flooding(great, there goes our bad weather day in the middle of September!)...on the news, they are saying this is the worst flood in Lubbock in over 100 years. Hubby's boss was driving home from the Tech Wesley and his car was carried away by flood waters, ending up with a foot of water in his car and likely totaling it with water damage. We are all fine...no danger of flood waters at our house, we are up on a hill...but there are places in the city that are being flooded out. I'll keep this updated.
So where is this rain coming from? Supposedly Tropical Storm Lowell? What happens if Ike carries over to us? Yikes.
Those of you in Ike's path, we are praying for you. A & W prayed for all of you tonight...especially Aunt Jan. I was moved by A's prayer - "God, keep Aunt Jan warm and keep her heart warm with you." Amen.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Sept. 11th
Just as it is with probably every single American who was old enough to remember, it is etched in my mind where I was on Sept. 11, 2001...and the emotions of that day just came bubbling back up this morning.
I was at home with my 13 day old daughter...a first time mother who was desperately sleep deprived and trying to figure out the nursing thing and all of the good stuff that comes with the first 2 weeks of a newborn's life. My daughter's umbilical cord had finally fallen off and so I was psyching myself up for her first in-the-water bath. I was actually up, watching The Today Show while I attempted to nurse A when all of the events of that day started unfolding before my eyes. I was shocked...in disbelief....numb...and as I watched the news coverage, I remember looking down at my tiny baby girl, with tears in my eyes for her, wondering what kind of a world I had brought her into, what kind of life she would have...because I knew to some degree that this would change the course of our country, that unspoken rules of war or combat that we had thought were in place were no longer there...that the idea of "noncombatants" didn't matter to these people - they didn't care who they hurt - men, women, or children - old or young - military or nonmilitary. And I remember wondering how different her life would be from mine because of these events.
September 11th is also my parents' anniversary. They were married on Sept. 11, 1965, so today it their 43rd wedding anniversary. On Sept 11, 2001, they were coming into town to go out to eat and celebrate plus see their new granddaughter, so on that day, my mom and dad stopped by and were probably taken aback to find their daughter in tears and still in her pajamas at mid-day. They stayed with me awhile and talked about the events unfolding before our eyes. My mom also gave A her first ever in-the-water bath - so I got to watch and learn from an expert before I had to attempt it myself.
As I reflect on that day, though, I realize that my daughter will grow up hearing words like "terrorism" and "biological warfare" and "homeland security"...words I did not know or did not even hear until I was an adult. She will always know Sept. 11 as "Patriots Day" or "First Responders Day"....they are having a school assembly this morning and asked all of the kids to wear red, white, and blue so that they could honor our local first responders. She will never go into a public venue, like a football stadium or a large arena, without all of her things being searched. She will never get onto an airplane without having to take off her shoes and will always know the 3 oz. liquid rule. For almost her entire life, our country has been at war.... these things seem like such small sacrifices/changes to me now, having seen the effects of this war being waged against us without us even knowing the name or face of our enemy. But they are changes to me....for her, they are just life.
I was at home with my 13 day old daughter...a first time mother who was desperately sleep deprived and trying to figure out the nursing thing and all of the good stuff that comes with the first 2 weeks of a newborn's life. My daughter's umbilical cord had finally fallen off and so I was psyching myself up for her first in-the-water bath. I was actually up, watching The Today Show while I attempted to nurse A when all of the events of that day started unfolding before my eyes. I was shocked...in disbelief....numb...and as I watched the news coverage, I remember looking down at my tiny baby girl, with tears in my eyes for her, wondering what kind of a world I had brought her into, what kind of life she would have...because I knew to some degree that this would change the course of our country, that unspoken rules of war or combat that we had thought were in place were no longer there...that the idea of "noncombatants" didn't matter to these people - they didn't care who they hurt - men, women, or children - old or young - military or nonmilitary. And I remember wondering how different her life would be from mine because of these events.
September 11th is also my parents' anniversary. They were married on Sept. 11, 1965, so today it their 43rd wedding anniversary. On Sept 11, 2001, they were coming into town to go out to eat and celebrate plus see their new granddaughter, so on that day, my mom and dad stopped by and were probably taken aback to find their daughter in tears and still in her pajamas at mid-day. They stayed with me awhile and talked about the events unfolding before our eyes. My mom also gave A her first ever in-the-water bath - so I got to watch and learn from an expert before I had to attempt it myself.
As I reflect on that day, though, I realize that my daughter will grow up hearing words like "terrorism" and "biological warfare" and "homeland security"...words I did not know or did not even hear until I was an adult. She will always know Sept. 11 as "Patriots Day" or "First Responders Day"....they are having a school assembly this morning and asked all of the kids to wear red, white, and blue so that they could honor our local first responders. She will never go into a public venue, like a football stadium or a large arena, without all of her things being searched. She will never get onto an airplane without having to take off her shoes and will always know the 3 oz. liquid rule. For almost her entire life, our country has been at war.... these things seem like such small sacrifices/changes to me now, having seen the effects of this war being waged against us without us even knowing the name or face of our enemy. But they are changes to me....for her, they are just life.
Friday, August 29, 2008
The Pajamaramas
Today is A's 7th birthday.....where has the time gone? Where is that tiny creature who used to keep us up all hours of the night with her colic? Where is that baby who had to have her paci to go to sleep? Where is my sweet toddler? Where is my 5 year old, my 6 year old? She is a thing of the past now...A is officially 7.
To celebrate her birthday, she wanted a sleepover/slumber party, so right now as I type, there are five sweet 7 and 8 year old girls (all friends from church) screaming in my basement because Joe Jonas just came on the TV screen as they watch "Camp Rock"....ay yi yi!!! An hour ago, my husband had transformed our living room into a stage, complete with lights and microphones and we had an all out karoake concert....the girls titled their "band" the PAJAMARAMAS....so here's to you, Pajamaramas...and here's praying that you fall asleep during the movie so I can get some sleep, too!
P.S. A - I love you...happy birthday, sweet girl. You rock.
To celebrate her birthday, she wanted a sleepover/slumber party, so right now as I type, there are five sweet 7 and 8 year old girls (all friends from church) screaming in my basement because Joe Jonas just came on the TV screen as they watch "Camp Rock"....ay yi yi!!! An hour ago, my husband had transformed our living room into a stage, complete with lights and microphones and we had an all out karoake concert....the girls titled their "band" the PAJAMARAMAS....so here's to you, Pajamaramas...and here's praying that you fall asleep during the movie so I can get some sleep, too!
P.S. A - I love you...happy birthday, sweet girl. You rock.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Short update on the salisbury steak report
Okay - I have an issue my children's school cafeteria. Evidently, when you are in kindergarten, you don't have alternatives or choices on the lunchroom food...while in 1st grade, if you don't like the main course, you have 1 choice (cheese sandwich) and in 2nd grade you have 2 choices (cheese sandwich or chef salad)...so while A could politely say "no thank you" to the salisbury steak and opt for other things, W was going to be forced to stare at this horrible awful thing that his daddy has described to him for years - this "urban legend" that he equates to the most horrible of horribles...on his very first day to eat in the school cafeteria. Why is that? They think kindergarteners can't make wise choices or what?
Anyways, luckily for W he had prepped his teacher that morning on the horrors of salisbury steak...our sweet teacher friend, who was walking W through as promised, asked the lunchroom ladies to give him a cheese sandwich instead...they refused at first since he was a kindergartener until she stressed the urgency of her request with all of the sterness a sweet kindergarten teacher can muster up...so W was SAVED from the salisbury steak by his new hero, Mrs. C. (insert super hero music and a costume w/tights and a cape here) Thank you, Mrs C!!! We love you! We are now armed with the cafeteria menu and will make every preparation next time to avoid the salisbury steak at all costs.
Anyways, luckily for W he had prepped his teacher that morning on the horrors of salisbury steak...our sweet teacher friend, who was walking W through as promised, asked the lunchroom ladies to give him a cheese sandwich instead...they refused at first since he was a kindergartener until she stressed the urgency of her request with all of the sterness a sweet kindergarten teacher can muster up...so W was SAVED from the salisbury steak by his new hero, Mrs. C. (insert super hero music and a costume w/tights and a cape here) Thank you, Mrs C!!! We love you! We are now armed with the cafeteria menu and will make every preparation next time to avoid the salisbury steak at all costs.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
The Day After
Here's a short debriefing, as told by W of his first day of kindergarten...
W: "IT WAS THE BEST DAY TO INFINITY!"
He had a fantastic day - in fact, I didn't even have to ask 50 questions. I didn't have to ask 5 questions...I could barely get him to contain himself...He and A both were talking so fast and all over the place after I picked them up from school yesterday. We had to have a picnic in the living room floor with our snacks and then take turns telling me all about their days (I literally think we sat there an hour!). W told me about gym and how he learned to salute like an army man...how he learned about shapes...how he made not one but TWO new friends...how he got to sit with a friend from church for lunch...how he got to run and play at recess...he said not one negative thing about the whole day except that he needed a blanket at nap time in case he got cold. :)
A also could not stop gushing about 2nd grade and her new teacher...she said her teacher knew how to take things that aren't fun - like math - and make them into something SUPER-DUPER fun!!! She saw so many old friends...some of her kinder buddies who weren't in her 1st grade class are back in her 2nd grade class...she was on cloud nine and very excited for the new year.
This morning, Dear Hubby (who normally packs their lunch boxes) elected to let them try eating in the cafeteria. A is a pro at it but W, not so much. We figured he needed to learn sooner or later, right? The only thing is that normally we'll have a lunch room menu to know what's being served. Those haven't been sent home yet so it could be anything. Dear Hubby has made the horror of salisbury steak from the lunchroom a legend in our house...so both kids, while never actually having tasted salisbury steak from the lunchroom, believe it to be the most HORRIBLE thing to eat on the whole planet...so as we are driving to school, W is worrying about this lunchroom thing - and he asks me "But Mom, what if it's salisbury steak?" What are the chances, right? But I told him that if it was, there were alternatives he could ask for (cheese sandwiches)...he was still quite concerned but I paid little mind to it because I thought surely they wouldnt' serve salisbury steak on the 2nd day of school - I'm thinking chicken nuggets, pizza, something like that...Anyways, W was concerned enough to voice it to his teacher and she promised she'd walk him through the lunchroom line...
I checked online this morning - they just put up the lunchroom menus today...SALISBURY STEAK!! Yikes. W may not speak to me and Dad tonight.
W: "IT WAS THE BEST DAY TO INFINITY!"
He had a fantastic day - in fact, I didn't even have to ask 50 questions. I didn't have to ask 5 questions...I could barely get him to contain himself...He and A both were talking so fast and all over the place after I picked them up from school yesterday. We had to have a picnic in the living room floor with our snacks and then take turns telling me all about their days (I literally think we sat there an hour!). W told me about gym and how he learned to salute like an army man...how he learned about shapes...how he made not one but TWO new friends...how he got to sit with a friend from church for lunch...how he got to run and play at recess...he said not one negative thing about the whole day except that he needed a blanket at nap time in case he got cold. :)
A also could not stop gushing about 2nd grade and her new teacher...she said her teacher knew how to take things that aren't fun - like math - and make them into something SUPER-DUPER fun!!! She saw so many old friends...some of her kinder buddies who weren't in her 1st grade class are back in her 2nd grade class...she was on cloud nine and very excited for the new year.
This morning, Dear Hubby (who normally packs their lunch boxes) elected to let them try eating in the cafeteria. A is a pro at it but W, not so much. We figured he needed to learn sooner or later, right? The only thing is that normally we'll have a lunch room menu to know what's being served. Those haven't been sent home yet so it could be anything. Dear Hubby has made the horror of salisbury steak from the lunchroom a legend in our house...so both kids, while never actually having tasted salisbury steak from the lunchroom, believe it to be the most HORRIBLE thing to eat on the whole planet...so as we are driving to school, W is worrying about this lunchroom thing - and he asks me "But Mom, what if it's salisbury steak?" What are the chances, right? But I told him that if it was, there were alternatives he could ask for (cheese sandwiches)...he was still quite concerned but I paid little mind to it because I thought surely they wouldnt' serve salisbury steak on the 2nd day of school - I'm thinking chicken nuggets, pizza, something like that...Anyways, W was concerned enough to voice it to his teacher and she promised she'd walk him through the lunchroom line...
I checked online this morning - they just put up the lunchroom menus today...SALISBURY STEAK!! Yikes. W may not speak to me and Dad tonight.
Monday, August 25, 2008
The Day I Wish I Could Postpone Indefinitely
Well, the day has arrived...the one I wish I could just put on a back shelf and put off until "tomorrow" for about a hundred more tomorrows. My son started kindergarten today...wait, I need to say it again so maybe it will sink in as reality to my brain - my son started kindergarten today.
That sentence really brings some very mixed emotions for me..my baby is in school all day, 5 days a week...he's going to have to get his own lunchroom tray, he's going to have to remember where he puts his things, he's going to make friends and do things that I don't know about, he'll be spending as much time or more with his teacher than with me...Will he still randomly announce that he loves me 3 or 4 times a day? Will he still pucker up and stick his lips out to give me a kiss ? Will he still say "Yes, ma'm" and "please" or will he become influenced by all of the other kids around him who don't say those things? You know, when we decided to put our kids in public school, we asked ourselves all kinds of questions, but when it came down to it, our heart was first and foremost that our kids could learn to be lights for Jesus...that we didn't want to shelter them away from the world but instead wanted them to be instruments of change and instruments of love for the world...last night, when we all prayed together as a family for the new school year, Dear Hubby prayed not only for their school year and their teachers, but that both A&W would find ways to share Jesus with kids they meet...that they would be that light in a dark world...as much as I want that, I also have to be able to LET THAT HAPPEN and let go....and today I find myself struggling with the letting go part...
SO - instead of focusing on me, I'm going to write a letter to W and tell him all about his first day:
"YEAH, W!!! You started kindergarten today!! You were so brave and just took it in stride...way to go. You were quite worried for the few weeks before about how you would wake up in time to get to school, for some reason...as if Mom or Dad waking you up, like we have for the past, oh, I don't know...5 YEARS...just wasn't good enough. So we made sure you had an alarm clock and that you knew how to work it and I know between you and me we checked it at least 10 times last night to make sure it was set properly. I was really concerned that you might get really anxious the first morning, but you were amazing this morning...you even wet and combed your own hair. :)
I fought back the tears and just about had them under control until you told me in the car that you didn't want me to walk with you to class, that you knew where your classroom was and could go by yourself. Then I felt the tears resurfacing...A must have seen it, too, because she loudly pronounced to her little brother "W, she WANTS to walk you to class...you should let her." Thinking about it for a minute, you acquiesed (THANK YOU, LORD!!! I can only handle one step of independence at a time this week) and let me walk you to class. You stood in front of the school sign and in front of your classroom door and let me take your picture...you smiled when I told you to have a good day and then quickly went back to playing with your play-dough...you never turned around to wave, you never saw me blowing you one last kiss....you were a very brave boy and I am so excited for you - for all of the adventures and experiences you will have, for all that you will learn, for the friends you will meet, for the person God is going to make you into now that you have the added title of being an elementary school student.
That sentence really brings some very mixed emotions for me..my baby is in school all day, 5 days a week...he's going to have to get his own lunchroom tray, he's going to have to remember where he puts his things, he's going to make friends and do things that I don't know about, he'll be spending as much time or more with his teacher than with me...Will he still randomly announce that he loves me 3 or 4 times a day? Will he still pucker up and stick his lips out to give me a kiss ? Will he still say "Yes, ma'm" and "please" or will he become influenced by all of the other kids around him who don't say those things? You know, when we decided to put our kids in public school, we asked ourselves all kinds of questions, but when it came down to it, our heart was first and foremost that our kids could learn to be lights for Jesus...that we didn't want to shelter them away from the world but instead wanted them to be instruments of change and instruments of love for the world...last night, when we all prayed together as a family for the new school year, Dear Hubby prayed not only for their school year and their teachers, but that both A&W would find ways to share Jesus with kids they meet...that they would be that light in a dark world...as much as I want that, I also have to be able to LET THAT HAPPEN and let go....and today I find myself struggling with the letting go part...
SO - instead of focusing on me, I'm going to write a letter to W and tell him all about his first day:
"YEAH, W!!! You started kindergarten today!! You were so brave and just took it in stride...way to go. You were quite worried for the few weeks before about how you would wake up in time to get to school, for some reason...as if Mom or Dad waking you up, like we have for the past, oh, I don't know...5 YEARS...just wasn't good enough. So we made sure you had an alarm clock and that you knew how to work it and I know between you and me we checked it at least 10 times last night to make sure it was set properly. I was really concerned that you might get really anxious the first morning, but you were amazing this morning...you even wet and combed your own hair. :)
I fought back the tears and just about had them under control until you told me in the car that you didn't want me to walk with you to class, that you knew where your classroom was and could go by yourself. Then I felt the tears resurfacing...A must have seen it, too, because she loudly pronounced to her little brother "W, she WANTS to walk you to class...you should let her." Thinking about it for a minute, you acquiesed (THANK YOU, LORD!!! I can only handle one step of independence at a time this week) and let me walk you to class. You stood in front of the school sign and in front of your classroom door and let me take your picture...you smiled when I told you to have a good day and then quickly went back to playing with your play-dough...you never turned around to wave, you never saw me blowing you one last kiss....you were a very brave boy and I am so excited for you - for all of the adventures and experiences you will have, for all that you will learn, for the friends you will meet, for the person God is going to make you into now that you have the added title of being an elementary school student.
You have a wonderful teacher...you know her, you love her, she loves you so much...she has been your children's church teacher and VBS teacher at church since you were so little...and she is our lifegroup leader and dear, dear friend...I thank God for her and for the ease of transition that having her for your teacher brings for you and your little anxious mind. And God has continuted to amaze me with how much thought He has put into taking care of you - how well he knows you...a new friend we met this summer who lives about 8 houses down from us is in your class, a friend from your private preschool for the last 2 years is in your class, sweet friends from church are in your school and will see you throughout the day to offer encouragement and friendly faces...and your sister is full of love and advice and not treating you like a pariah (yet)...These are all little things that I might not have thought about that would help ease your transition, but God thought about it...
Last night, we all prayed together as a family for this new school year..and one of the things Daddy prayed for and talked to you and A about for a few minutes was how we wanted you to be able to share Jesus with kids you meet in school...whether by telling them about how Jesus lives in your heart or just by being like Jesus in your actions. You looked at us funny and said "Everyone already knows about Jesus, I thought..." Oh, my sweet boy. Up until this point in your life, that's probably mostly true - your family, your church friends, your church preschool...but today that changes. You took a step a little further out into a wider, bigger world.
I can't wait to see you today when I pick you up from your first day. I can't wait to hear all about it. I'm prepared to ask 50 questions if I have to in order to find out all about who you sat with at lunch, what you played at recess, what new things you learned, what crayon you picked first to color your first kindgarten picture. I'll see you soon."
Love you,
Momma
P.S. - My beautiful yet crazy daughter, A, started 2nd grade!!!! She's got the hang of this school thing. :)
A: "This woman is crazy for taking all of these pictures!!!"
W: "Can we get this over with already?"
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
My Sweet W
I am planning on posting some pics from our trip to Playa del Carmen last week, but this week, my mind has been on my sweet W.....
At W's 5 year check up, we had a very long conversation with his pediatrician about some unusual behavior we had noticed in W that I was particularly anxious about....he seemed to have alot of trouble with anxiety and dealing with the unknown..alot of fear that would result in what we refer to as meltdowns - where he loses total control of his emotions and of reality, most of the time. (Yes, I do know toddlers and preschoolers throw fits...these are not fits. I've seen my share of fits. These are "the world is going to end-loss of all control-I hate everything-I hate myself" kinds of episodes.) Since he was a toddler, we had also noticed strange things like a fairly intense hot/cold sensitivity and how he would cover his ears to shut out the sound of things like a public toilet flushing or the garbage disposal or buzzers at basketball games. As he has gotten older, we've been able to pinpoint that most of the time, the meltdowns can be associated with a fear of failure or a fear of the unknown. W sets himself up for failure because he expects to be able to do things perfectly from the get-go and if he knows he may not be able to do it perfectly, then he shuts down emotionally or he explodes into the outer stratosphere! He has melted down these last couple of months over something as simple as not knowing how to slip on the slip-n-slide he got for his birthday to going to tennis camp to running through a sprinkler at Grandma's that moved unpredictably.Anyone who has spent any time with W knows this is NOT normal behavior at all for him. He comes across as a very affectionate, laid back, mellow kind of kid who loves people, who loves to laugh...he is not at all high strung and usually very easy going. So that's what makes these episodes even more worrisome for me...not to mention I happen to know that, as an adult, I struggle with control and with fear and absolutely don't want that for my children...I want it to stop with me, I guess. To see it in my child - I hurt so much for him..I worry that he'll miss out on so many wonderful things in life because of his fear or his anxiety...
So our pediatrician referred us to a developmental M.D. for an evaluation...and this past Monday was our appt. (We had to wait 3 months to get in, but I was relieved it was before school started!) Before the appointment, Hubby and I both struggled with whether to go or not...we love W so much just the way he is, the way God created him, and the last thing we wanted to do was to give him any other idea - that he wasn't perfect to us or that he needed to change. We were going to discuss specific episodes and behavior with this dr. right in front of him!! And we didn't want him to suddenly be labeled in some way that might cause roadblocks for him in the future...or to even be labeled at all!! All that we wanted was some insight into how his little mind works and some tools to enable us to help him deal with his stress and fears. Hubby wanted to back out...I was almost to that point...then we decided we would go for the initial consultation and if at any point we became uncomfortable or W seemed to get anxious during the visit, we could just call it quits and walk out.
The days leading up to the appt, I prepped W - told him about the dr. and how it wasn't a big deal, we were just trying to figure out ways we could help him not be so frustrated sometimes. We've learned we need to prep W for things like this, not just spring it on him - give him time to mull it over. 2 nights before the appt, he asks Grandma if he'll get a shot at the appt. She tells him no, that he wouldn't, he's just going to talk to the dr. Then, my sweet W - he says "It's not my fault I get frustrated, it's Abby's!" HA!! Yes, of course..it's big sister who aggrevates you most of the time, I'll admit it. She is a persistent little thing and knows just how to manipulate W until she gets her way. Gotta love those brother/sister relationships...
I know this blog is long, sorry! But we did go to the appt and it was a blessing...the dr. and her nurse (who happened to be a male nurse named Jesus!!) were both very kind and very sweet with W...and we were able to talk comfortably and openly with them...my fear was that they would get the wrong impression or not understand our concerns, but that was far from what happened. She said he most definitely was born with an anxious personality..but she did not want to classify it as an anxiety disorder at this point because it does not occur more days than it does not occur and it hasn't disrupted his school work yet (preschool)...she explained to us that his anxiety most likely stems from an extreme fear of the unknown - which she then tied back into the loud noises and the hot/cold sensitivities because these are unknowns for him. Also, the expectations he sets for himself are so high, she felt like we needed to learn as much as we could about perfectionism in children now so that we could possibly lessen the effects once he's in school. She gave us very practical ways to deal with it, how to lessen the power the anxiety holds over him when he has a meltdown, and how to prepare him for changes or unknowns that are coming his way...and that lots of creative playtime was the best thing for him because he can act out his anxiety (lots of Lego time! Woo hoo! W was happy to hear that as the newest member of the Lego Club..yes, they have a club.) She also recommended, though, that he be involved in some structured activities but only 1 at a time...so we may try gymnastics this fall. This would allow him to have to face some fears and see that they aren't all that bad, once he gets over the initial hump. We've seen that play out already in t-ball and in tennis camp...after he's done it, he liked it and had fun...but before he starts, watch out...
And in watching my sweet W deal with his fear - whether it's fear of the unknown or fear of not having control or fear of not being able to do something perfectly - has made me look at myself alot closer as well...and I feel like I've started a journey with God to explore these things in me even more than I ever have in the past - I've always just said "Oh, yeah, I have control issues.." and laughed and went on...but God has opened my eyes to see that while that may be the fruit on the outside, there may be more to the root and that together, He and I can get at that root...and my life and my relationship with Him, my children's lives, my marriage - all will be the better for it....
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