Laying Down the Law

When W was a baby, he refused to take a pacifier...instead, his means of comfort was his blanket, who became known in our house as "Blanket"....creative and ingenius, I know. Blanket was made for him before he was even born by my mother (with the help of my niece and nephew). W loved Blanket so much that Blanket began to get very worn and thin and to have very large holes in him...so, at 4 1/2 years old, Blanket needed to be "put to pasture", so to speak...So I made W a new blanket - this one had stuff from outerspace all over it, which I thought any 4 1/2 year old would love (actually, it was the closest thing I could find to Star Wars)...but I could see the apprehension in W's eyes as I showed him the new blanket and he touched it and we talked about putting Blanket away....so I tried to make myself think like W would think and I tried to conjure up in my head what types of fears or worries he might have about not having Blanket. That led to this conversation...

Me: "You know what, W? I'm going to let Blanket and new Blanket take a bath together and while they are in there, I bet Blanket will tell new Blanket every single thing he needs to know about how to be the best Blanket for you...I bet he'll tell him all of your secrets and your dreams and your favorite things...how about that?"

W: (After pausing to contemplate this...) "Okay, Mommy...because Blanket knows all of that stuff."

So we put them in the washing machine together and then in the dryer. I let W get them both out of the dryer, still warm. When he did, he hugged Blanket and told him goodbye and then told me to put him in his closet where he could see him...and then he ran off with new Blanket. We had absolutely no trouble transitioning...I was very thankful. Blanket was practically a member of our family.

Then, 6 months later (this being this past weekend), W informs me that new Blanket has a new name - "Ba Ba"...okay, son - whatever you want to name him is great, right? Nope, dear Hubby did not like the new name. He thought it sounded too much like a baby name and to him, it's bad enough that his now 5 year old son still loves his blanket so much, much less if the blanket has a baby name! So Hubby proceeded to try to suggest new names...Blanket 2, Deuce, anything that sounded remotely manly and not so much like baby talk...W wouldn't budge. It was his blanket and he was picking the name he liked. Hubby told him that was fine, but that he'd make fun of him for picking a baby name (I know, real mature and a stellar "Dad" moment, right?)...W looked at his dad, picked up his foot, raised his knee up as high as he could and then stomped it to the ground...and he said "I'M PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN...."

Alrighty, then..."Ba Ba" it is. Way to lay down the law, son. He must get that from his mother.

The Force is Strong in this one...

My W is turning 5 years old....tomorrow. We had his big birthday bash this weekend, and can I just say that I am a crazy person? We had an all out Jedi Training Session for W and 14 of his closest friends...complete with costumes, light sabers, and a real live Darth Vader! :)

We had alot of fun, but today, I'm really being all sentimental and finding it somewhat difficult to wrap my mind around the fact that my baby is turning 5.....to me, he will forever be that baby who couldn't sleep without Blanket(and yes, it is a proper name!) and his Elmo...he will forever be that baby who would reach out to me, hold his arms out and say "hold you...hold you..." and when I do pick him up, he pats me on the back...he will forever be my baby boy with his "Buddha belly" and his huge grin...he will forver be etched in my mind like this:

Happy birthday, my sweet, sweet Jedi...

How Can I Keep From Singing. . .

Recently, I lost my Ma....it's hard to put into words exactly how I felt about her or to describe what my relationship was like with her. My ma was my grandmother...my mother's mother. She was such an intricate part of my life, though, that life without her now just seems wrong, very unnatural. I miss her constantly.

Anyways, she had been sick leading up to her death, but it wasn't believed to be fatal. In actuality, her heart literally just stopped beating. BUT, she had been in the hospital for several weeks. The weekend before she died, I drove up to Amarillo to stay with her for the weekend...on my 2 hour drive by myself, I had lots of time to think and to pray...and one conversation I had with God went something like this....

Me: "God, I WANT my children to know Ma, especially A...she's named after her....I want her to know exactly how fantastic Ma is, I want her to have memories with her like I do...God, my heart is hurting at the thought of her not remembering her. I lost my great-grandmother when I was in the 1st grade and my memories are sweet but very limited..."

God: "Just take a deep breath and listen for awhile, okay?"

Me: "Whatever...fine." - as this point, I turn on my iPod, which is on shuffle...so the next song comes on....the acoustic version of Chris Tomlin's "How Can I Keep From Singing" As I listened to it, it hit me that the song describes my sweet A's heart...she is ALWAYS singing, she is always making up new songs, writing words to songs in her journal, she sings her dinner requests to me when I ask...but more than that, it's easy for me to see how she has a song in her heart through the way she dances through life with a smile and bringing smiles to others. She loves God's creation in nature, she loves art...it's all a beautiful song to her. So when I heard the words to that song, I knew that was a very unique and special way God had made A....the words go something like this...

"There is an endless song...Echoes in my soul...I hear the music ring...And though the storms may come...I am holding on...To the rock I cling...How can I keep from singing Your praise...How can I ever say enough...How amazing is Your love...How can I keep from shouting Your name...I know I am loved by the King...And it makes my heart want to sing..."

At this point, after my realization, my conversation w/God continues:

Me: "Thank you, Lord!! That is awesome...thank you for that insight into who my daughter is and how you have created her..."

God: "Hold your horses...I'm not done. Tell me right now who else you know that walks through life with a song of praise for me echoing in every single thing she does..."

Me: "Umm....." And then it hits me like a brick - my Ma...no doubt whatsoever. That describes her to a tee....

At that moment, I realize what God is trying to tell me - that even though A may not have Ma around physically for years and years, she and Ma share this very important gift and trait from God...that they not only share a name, but that God created them in a very similar mold...and that Ma will always be a part of A, too....all of this took place on Saturday...and Ma died on Monday. God gave me an amazing gift...a very special treasure that I will never ever forget....

And the rest of the words to the song are quite fitting as well...my Ma could have written this song, seriously...they go like this:

"I will lift my eyes...In the darkest night...For I know my Savior lives...And I will walk with You...Knowing You'll see me through...And sing the songs You give...I can sing in the troubled times...Sing when I win...I can sing when I lose my step...And fall down again...I can sing 'cause You pick me up...Sing 'cause You're there...I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord...When I call to You in prayer...I can sing with my last breath...Sing for I know...That I'll sing with the angels...And the saints around the throne..."

God is awesome.

Who are these creatures?

So, I was looking for something on my computer the other day, and I came across some pictures of some creatures I could no longer identify...

These adorable creatures don't look anything like the ones I now have living in my house. :) Those were during the sweet, cuddly, "I like mom" days....as opposed to the rolling of the eyes, "Mom makes me eat my vegetables and do my homework so she must be no fun" days....in our house, Dad is definitely the "cooler", Rock-Star parent most of the time...