Sept. 11th

Just as it is with probably every single American who was old enough to remember, it is etched in my mind where I was on Sept. 11, 2001...and the emotions of that day just came bubbling back up this morning.

I was at home with my 13 day old daughter...a first time mother who was desperately sleep deprived and trying to figure out the nursing thing and all of the good stuff that comes with the first 2 weeks of a newborn's life. My daughter's umbilical cord had finally fallen off and so I was psyching myself up for her first in-the-water bath. I was actually up, watching The Today Show while I attempted to nurse A when all of the events of that day started unfolding before my eyes. I was shocked...in disbelief....numb...and as I watched the news coverage, I remember looking down at my tiny baby girl, with tears in my eyes for her, wondering what kind of a world I had brought her into, what kind of life she would have...because I knew to some degree that this would change the course of our country, that unspoken rules of war or combat that we had thought were in place were no longer there...that the idea of "noncombatants" didn't matter to these people - they didn't care who they hurt - men, women, or children - old or young - military or nonmilitary. And I remember wondering how different her life would be from mine because of these events.

September 11th is also my parents' anniversary. They were married on Sept. 11, 1965, so today it their 43rd wedding anniversary. On Sept 11, 2001, they were coming into town to go out to eat and celebrate plus see their new granddaughter, so on that day, my mom and dad stopped by and were probably taken aback to find their daughter in tears and still in her pajamas at mid-day. They stayed with me awhile and talked about the events unfolding before our eyes. My mom also gave A her first ever in-the-water bath - so I got to watch and learn from an expert before I had to attempt it myself.

As I reflect on that day, though, I realize that my daughter will grow up hearing words like "terrorism" and "biological warfare" and "homeland security"...words I did not know or did not even hear until I was an adult. She will always know Sept. 11 as "Patriots Day" or "First Responders Day"....they are having a school assembly this morning and asked all of the kids to wear red, white, and blue so that they could honor our local first responders. She will never go into a public venue, like a football stadium or a large arena, without all of her things being searched. She will never get onto an airplane without having to take off her shoes and will always know the 3 oz. liquid rule. For almost her entire life, our country has been at war.... these things seem like such small sacrifices/changes to me now, having seen the effects of this war being waged against us without us even knowing the name or face of our enemy. But they are changes to me....for her, they are just life.