Deal or No Deal?

There are many things we may "fear" in life - whether it be the fear of spiders, the fear of losing someone we love, the fear of losing control...these fears rear their ugly little heads and we suddenly feel like that 4 year old child who was afraid of the dark or of monsters under your bed - the emotions are real and they are terrifying.

This weekend, my beautiful daughter found herself face to face with a bone-chilling, tears down the face fear...Normally, A is my "fearless" one - she doesn't know a stranger, she doesn't hesitate to try new things (except for food!), she's confident, she's secure in who she is...W is the one who hates change or hates having to do new things out of fear of failure or not doing it up to these imaginary standards he has in his head.

Our family went to the lake with Hubby's parents...and we took the boat out to the middle of the lake and stopped to take a swim since it was 100+ degrees out. Everyone had on their life jackets...W jumped in with his Pops with hardly any hesitation at all and swam around like a crazy man. A, however, could not stand the thought of jumping into a lake where she couldn't touch the bottom and couldn't see what was floating around and under her. She wanted to do it so desperately, but her fears held her back...she was terrified, even though her daddy was waiting to catch her when she jumped in the water. There was much drama and gnashing of teeth...so I told her she didn't have to and could stay on the boat with me...MORE drama and gnashing of teeth!! She WANTED to so badly. I promise, we talked about it for over an HOUR...when I say talk, I really mean I tried to reason with her, she cried, I got frustrated, she cried, I tried to be motivating, she cried...I told her to yell "I CAN DO THIS!" at the top of her lungs, she looks at me like I'm crazy...I told her that we would never let anything bad happen to her, she glares at me...finally, I start telling her that most of the time, we make the thing we are afraid of bigger than it really is - the "idea" of jumping into the water was HUGE to her while the actual event would last maybe 2 seconds. By this time, she was able to express to me that she REALLY WANTED to do it and knew she'd be sad if she didn't, but it was so hard!

That's when I hit negotiating mode...I knew she would be very upset and disappointed if we left and she didn't do this, so I tried to sweeten the deal..I told her if she'd conquer her fear, that I would conquer one of mine...that I was afraid of holding her pet lizards, they creeped me out. I could look at them through the aquarium all day, but I was afraid to hold them - especially her pet bearded dragon, King Randall. He's small and wiry and fast and likes to bite people if they tick him off (it doesn't hurt because he has no teeth, but STILL!!)...so if she'd jump into the lake, I'd hold all 4 of the creatures of the reptilian nature who currently reside in our home, even King Randall. That brought a sparkle to her eyes...she thought that would be funny, to see me do something I was afraid of and she wasn't....Her Nonni also joined in the deal making - Nonni doesn't like water and can't swim, either, but she agreed to get in the water w/a life jacket on if A would...

So, after much effort and lots of persuasion, A finally jumped into the open arms of her daddy, who was waiting in the water for her (water-logged after waiting over an hour for her to make up her mind!)....it really gave me lots to think about...how we so often WANT to trust God, to just free-fall into His arms - we want it SO BADLY that we cry and throw a fit and we know we'll be so disappointed and sad if we don't do it - but that fear holds us back..it prevents us from experiencing something new, something exciting, something fun, something comforting - from some blessing that God has waiting for us if we'd just trust Him to catch us. At one point, her daddy asked A if she trusted him...she said "YES, but it's still so scary, Daddy..." It is, isn't it? It's scary to give up control...even when we know in our head and in our heart that God will be there to catch us...what an illustration of my own struggles with God....my fear of letting go and letting Him have control.

P.S. I also got suckered into a deal to KISS the chuckwalla lizard, Chuckie, by W...he made a deal that if he jumped in from the top of the boat, then I had to kiss Chuckie...so I guess I'll be puckering up. Why is it I fell for that one? Oh yeah, because my little W is such a sweet-talking charmer who tells me I'm beautiful at least 3 times a day! :)

King Randall - he is MEAN & SCARY, I tell you!

Me kissing Chuckie, the chuckwalla lizard - not quite so mean and scary...he's normally a kindergarten class pet but A is babysitting for the summer, so he's not nearly as ferocious as the King.

A showing sweet support for her momma by showing me it's not that bad to kiss a lizard.

I also had to hold 2 salamanders - Big Daddy & Sally - who we are pet-sitting for some friends this week...can you say slimy? CB, I hope you are proud of me.